Babes. It’s here. It’s time. Valentine’s Day. Ooh, boy. Did you feel that? That little ripple of tension? Whatever your stance on the mother of all auspicious dates, there is something to be said for a holiday that provokes such strong, polarised feelings - sometimes within the same person. So, when it comes to relationships, it seems fair to say we’re all heavily involved in a love-hate thing with V-day. It’s complicated. Filled with ups and downs.
And maybe that’s half its charm. But one thing is for sure - while there is beauty in this imperfection, we’d all take easy first-dates, falling in love, and having a good time over their opposites, right? And that’s where we step in. Take a peek through our Valentine’s Day guide, and say ‘Oh, heeeey’ to your best V-Day yet.
HOW TO SURVIVE A FIRST DATE
So, you’ve got a hot first date lined up for Valentine’s? Phew - no pressure, huh? Don’t worry - we’ve got you. Here are some tips from our favourite blogger, Eric from Barking Up the Wrong Tree:
‘Talk travel, not movies’. This tip is based on a study by psychologist, Richard Wiseman, who discovered that a couple who spoke about their travel experiences went on twice as many second dates than those who spoke about films. ‘Have you been to Europe?’ it is, then.
‘Choose controversial over dull every time’. Here the Barking Up the Wrong Tree relationship guru writes it’s okay - even good - to talk about abortions and STD’s ‘if all else fails’. That’s ‘cause these topics, according to behavioural economist Dan Ariely, they make for more enjoyable (and perhaps memorable) conversation.
‘Share secrets’. This is one tip that’s about to dominate a good portion of the rest of this blog post. Why? It’s based on the work by psychologist Arthur Aron, which asked whether couples could accelerate their feelings for one another through answering three sets of twelve questions, thirty-six in all. We’ve personally tried this one - and it does work. It also worked for writer, Mandy Len Catron, as you’ll read in her famous article, and watch in her popular TedTalk, ‘Falling in Love is the Easy Part.’ Want your hands on the questions? Read on, honey.
Bonus tip: Keep our Quick Makeup Fix on hand for a quick refresher during a break to bathroom. It keeps your makeup look locked, and gives you a romantic, dewy sheen.
ALREADY HEAD-OVER-HEELS? FALL EVEN DEEPER:
Arthur Aron, a psychologist at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, is, interested in how people form romantic relationships, and he’s come up with an ingenious way of taking couples who’ve never met before and making them feel super close to one another.
And yeah, this questionnaire was originally designed for strangers meeting for the first time, but we think it’ll also make you and your partner connect on a way deeper level. So, when you’re settled in for a romantic Valentine’s Day dinner, take turns to give the questions a go:
- Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
- Would you like to be famous? In what way?
- Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you're going to say? Why?
- What would constitute a perfect day for you?
- When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
- If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose?
- Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
- Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
- For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
- If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
- Take four minutes and tell you partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
- If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?
- If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
- Is there something that you've dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?
- What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
- What do you value most in a friendship?
- What is your most treasured memory?
- What is your most terrible memory?
- If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
- What does friendship mean to you?
- What roles do love and affection play in your life?
- Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
- How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?
- How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
- Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "we are both in this room feeling..."
- Complete this sentence "I wish I had someone with whom I could share..."
- If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
- Tell your partner what you like about them: be honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.
- Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
- When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
- Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
- What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
- If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?
- Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
- Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
- Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
We hope we got you started on a mind-blowing Valentine’s Day. Let us know in the comments what you’ll be getting up to - we can’t wait to hear your plans. Until then, babes.
Your Beauty BFF,